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... to the form and time
which my intended procedure is likely to assume. I wish but to
disabuse the Baron of what is, to me, a shameful
supposition--namely, that I am under the guardianship of a person
who is qualified to exercise control over my free will.
It is
vain for you to disturb and alarm yourself."
"For God's sake, Alexis Ivanovitch, do put an end to this
senseless scheme of yours!" he muttered, but with a sudden
change from a truculent tone to one of entreaty as he caught me
by the hand. "Do you know what is likely to come of it? Merely
further unpleasantness. You will agree with me, I am sure, that
at present I ought to move with especial care--yes, with very
especial care.
You cannot be fully aware of how I am situated.
When we leave this place I shall be ready to receive you back
into my household; but, for the time being I-- Well, I cannot tell
you all my reasons." With that he wound up in a despairing
voice: " O Alexis Ivanovitch, Alexis Ivanovitch!"
I moved towards the door--begging him to be calm, and promising
that everything should be done decently and in order; whereafter
I departed.
Russians, when abroad, are over-apt to play the poltroon, to
watch all their words, and to wonder what people are thinking of
their conduct, or whether such and such a thing is 'comme il
faut.' In short, they are over-apt to cosset themselves, and to
lay claim to great importance. Always they prefer the form of
behaviour which has once and for all become accepted and
established. This they will follow slavishly whether in hotels,
on promenades, at meetings, or when on a journey. But the
General had avowed to me that, over and above such
considerations as these, there were circumstances which
compelled him to "move with especial care at present", and that the
fact had actually made him poor-spirited and a coward--it had made
him altogether change his tone towards me.
This fact I took into
my calculations, and duly noted it, for, of course, he MIGHT
apply to the authorities tomorrow, and it behoved me to go
carefully.
Yet it was not the General but Polina that I wanted to anger.
She had treated me preseason football wagering with such cruelty, and had got me into such a
hole, that I felt a longing to force her to beseech me to stop.
Of course, my tomfoolery might compromise her; yet certain other
feelings and desires had begun to form themselves in my brain.
If I was never to rank in her eyes as anything but a nonentity,
it would not greatly matter if I figured as a draggle-tailed
cockerel, and the Baron were to give me a good thrashing; but,
the fact was that I desired to have the laugh of them all, and
to come out myself unscathed. Let people see what they WOULD
see.
Let Polina, for once, have a good fright, and be forced to
whistle me to heel again.
But, however much she might whistle,
she should see that I was at least no draggle-tailed cockerel!
...........................
I have just exotic wagering received a surprising piece of news. I have just met
our chambermaid on the stairs, and been informed by her that
Maria Philipovna departed today, by the night train, to stay
with a cousin at Carlsbad. What preakness wagering can that mean? The maid declares
that Madame packed her trunks early in the day. Yet how is it
that no one else seems to have been aware of the circumstance?
Or is it that I have been the only person to be unaware of it?
Also, the maid has just told me that, three days ago, Maria
Philipovna had some high words with the General. I understand,
then! Probably the words were concerning Mlle. Blanche.
Certainly something decisive is approaching.
VII
In the morning I sent for the maitre d'hotel, and preseason football wagering explained to
him that, in future, my bill was to be rendered to me
personally. As a matter of fact, my expenses had never been so
large as to alarm me, nor to lead me to quit the hotel; preseason football wagering while,
moreover, I still had 16o gulden left to me, and--in them--yes, in
them, perhaps, riches awaited me. It was a curious fact, that,
though I had not yet won anything at play, I nevertheless acted,
thought, a ... |
