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... a little."
I left the Grandmother's presence in a state of bewilderment.
Vainly I endeavoured to imagine what would become of our party,
or what turn the affair would next take. I could perceive that
none of the party had yet recovered their presence of mind--least
of all the General. The factor of the Grandmother's appearance in
place of the hourly expected telegram to announce her death
(with, of course, resultant legacies) had so upset the whole
scheme of intentions and projects that it was with a decided
feeling of apprehension and growing paralysis that the
conspirators viewed any future performances of the old lady at
roulette. Yet this second factor was not quite so important as
the first, since, though the Grandmother had twice declared that
she did not intend to give the General any money, that
declaration was not a complete ground for the abandonment of
hope. Certainly De Griers, who, with the General, was up to the
neck in the affair, had not wholly lost courage; and I felt sure
that Mlle. Blanche also--Mlle.
Blanche who was not only as
deeply involved as the other two, but also expectant of becoming
Madame General and an important legatee--would not lightly
surrender the position, but would use her every resource of
coquetry upon the old lady, in order to afford a contrast to the
impetuous Polina, who was difficult to understand, and lacked
the art of pleasing.
Yet now, when
the Grandmother had just performed an astonishing feat at
roulette; now, when the old lady's personality had been so
clearly and typically revealed as that of a rugged, arrogant
woman who was "tombee en enfance"; now, when everything
appeared to be lost,--why, now the Grandmother was as merry as a
child which plays abcsingles com with thistle-down. "Good Lord!" I thought
with, may God forgive me, a most malicious smile, "every
ten-gulden piece which the Grandmother staked must have raised a
blister on the General's heart, and maddened De Griers, and
driven Mlle.
de Cominges almost to frenzy with the sight of this
spoon dangling before her lips." Another factor is the
circumstance that even when, overjoyed at winning, the
Grandmother was distributing alms right and left, and
taking every one to be a beggar, she again snapped
out to the General that he was not going to be allowed any of
her money-- which meant that the old lady had quite made up her
mind on the point, and was sure of it. Yes, danger loomed ahead.
All these thoughts passed through my mind during the few moments
that, having left the old lady's rooms, I was ascending to my own
room on the top storey. What most struck me was the fact that,
though I had divined the chief, the stoutest, threads which
united the various actors in the drama, I had, until now, been
ignorant of the methods and secrets of the game. For Polina had
never been completely open abcsingles com with me.
Although, on occasions, it
had happened that involuntarily, as it were, she had revealed
to me something of her heart, I had noticed that in most
cases--in fact, nearly always--she had either laughed away these
revelations, or grown confused, or purposely imparted to them
a false guise.
Yes, she must have concealed a great deal from me.
But, I had a abcsingles com presentiment that now the end of this strained and
mysterious situation was approaching. Another stroke, and all
would be finished and exposed. Of my own fortunes, interested
though I was in the affair, I took no account. I was in the
strange position of possessing but two hundred gulden, of being
at a loose end, of lacking both a post, the means of subsistence,
a shred of hope, and any plans for the future, yet of abcsingles com caring
nothing for these things. Had not my mind been so full of Polina,
I should have given myself up to the comical piquancy of the
impending denouement, and laughed my fill at it. But the thought abcsingles com
of Polina was torture to me. That her fate was settled I already
had an inkling; yet that was not the thought which was giving me
so much uneasiness.
What I really wished for was to penetrate her
secrets. I wanted her to come to me and say, " I love you, " and,
if she would not so come, or if to hope that she would ever do so
was an unthinkable absurdity--why, then there was nothing else for
me to want. Even now I do not know what I am wanting. I feel like
a man who has lost his way. I yearn but to be in her presence, and
within the circle of her light and splendour--to be there now, and
forever, and for the whole of my life. More I do not know. How
can I ever bring myself to leave her?
On reaching the third storey of the hotel I experienced a shock.
I was just passing the General's suite when something caused me
to look round. Out of a door about twenty paces away there was
coming Polina! She hesitated for a moment on seeing me, and
then beckoned me to her.
"Polina Alexandrovna!"
"Hush! Not so loud."
"Something startled me just now," I whispered, "and I looked
round, and saw you.
Some electrical influence seems to emanate
from your form."
"Take this letter," she went on with a frown (probably she had
not even heard my words, she was so preoccupied), "and hand it
personally to Mr. Astley. Go as quickly as ever you can, please.
No answer will be require ... |
